Dad's Passing

My Dad, Bill Volkhardt, passed away January 29, 2013.  His wife, Davey, and all his children were with him when he died, in Sarasota, Florida at the age of 84.

Dad had a happy childhood.  We kids heard about his tales of how he roamed the streets of Depression-era Jacksonville, Florida.  His stories reminded me of Spanky and Gang.  We would always prefer his stories over those of the Lil' Rascals.

Landon High School
Football, 1945 

Dad "fought a good fight" physically. He was voted "Most Athletic" his senior year at Landon High School.  That was in spite of the serious congenital heart condition that was discovered a few years later.  When he was 19 Dad had one of the first open heart surgeries ever done. Writing of the "flying-by-the-seat-of-the-pants" procedure, his surgeon gave him little hope of a long life.  Our mom was told he would not live past 35 when they married, but the surgery held for 65 years--a full lifetime.  Dad battled prostate cancer for 30 years, and heart failure for most of his life.  But he never gave up.  He even kept breathing for ten minutes after his last heartbeat   I didn't know that was possible, and wouldn't believe it if I hadn't been standing at his side to see it.

Glen and Dad,
circa 1959

Dad was a provider.  He didn't make much money, but we lived in good houses in good neighborhoods and we had an idyllic American life.  We kids had a tree house, a park (that Dad frequented almost as much as we did), trips to the beach and vacations in the mountains.  As adults we see that he sacrificed a lot for us, but we didn't realize it growing up.  The shipyard where he worked was a rough place.  I know. I worked there for a few months.   Dad worked there for his whole career, but the roughness of the place never wore off on him.  He remained a gentle soul his whole life.  I found a 1947 pay stub from the shipyard while going through his papers after his death.  He made 90 cents an hour.

Dad was always supportive.  He was a little league coach, and even gave up several rounds of the "draft" so that I could be on the same team with several of my friends one year. He always supported his children's decisions – be they in sports, activities or our professional lives. He loved all of our spouses, and was supportive of my missionary work for 20 years in Ecuador.

Dad and I in the swing, circa 2001

Dad was a nature lover. He was a hunter and fisherman as a teenager. As an adult, he became a self-taught naturalist. He knew flowers, birds, and trees by sight and sound, and loved identifying them from his wooden swing. His favorite job was the last one he had, as a bridge tender. He loved the color of the water and the birds, dolphins, fish and turtles that we would hear about in his stories of the bridge to Longboat Key. We spread his ashes on the key, and as we did so a bridge tender colleague  raised the bridge and sounded the siren for him one last time.

Dad was a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. He had a gentleness that can only flow from strength. I remember once when he had to physically intervene with an abusive relative on my behalf. That's exactly what I expected him to do.

Davey and Bill
at their 50th Anniversary, 2004

Dad was faithful, and a man of faith. He saw God's mysteries in the beauty of nature. He was faithful as a husband and faithful to his family, job and friends. Dad had a practical faith and solid ethics. He was not a very religious person, although I remember him being a deacon in a couple of small churches, but he always had his Bible handy, and, in his last few years, Joel Osteen was his favorite preacher. Psalm 91 was his favorite Psalm.  He was a man of prayer – requesting it, and offering it frequently.

Dad's immediate family was with him for the last 24 hours of his life, rubbing his hands and feet, scratching his head, and feeding him. Life for him became a "thin place," in the words of the ancient Christian mystics. He spoke of "deviations" and "transitions" and he had visions – one was of our son, Culver, on, what Dad called, a high place. Culver is a rock climber by hobby and a tower climber by trade. At one point Dad thought he had died and Mom had to convince him otherwise.

Dad's 80th Birthday, 2008

Near the end, when my sister, Gnann, asked him what he thought was wrong with him, he responded simply, "out of gas." Dad didn't want to go into a nursing home, and he never did.

Looking into his eyes the last few days of his life, I saw: the little boy climbing in the Treaty Oak in Jacksonville, the football player, the lifeguard and the baseball coach; and that made me want to hug more often, to show more appreciation, to see the wonder in things, and to say I love you more, as Dad always did, even when he had to do it over ham radio to Ecuador, "I love you...over."

"He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble;

I will rescue him and honor him. 

"With a long life I will satisfy him

And let him see My salvation."

Psalm 91: 15, 16