"Pearls" Gleaned from a Kitchen Table Counseling Seminar in January, 2016

"Pearls"  At the end of each session, I ask the ladies to write down one or two "takeaways" from that session--we call them, "pearls." Below is a synopsis of what we came up with at The Navigator's beautiful conference center at Glen Eyrie!

•        Forgiveness is so important. Christ took time from dying to do so!
•        End with prayer, then stand up
•        There are no pat answers.
•        Help her find her identity in Jesus- not in her wounding!
•        Don’t focus on the end product and ignore the blessing of today!
•        Don’t miss the blessings of what Jesus has today- by focusing on the end result
•        We have to give up our right to understand the unexplainable heartaches
•        Let go of judgment!
•        Jesus is enough
•        One step at a time allows us to reach the goal
•        Forgiveness is NOT forgetting- it just no longer has the power to hurt you!
•        I love You and more than my rights.
•        My husband is my first care receiver. (Priority) =)
•        Give it up to God. He can handle it.
•        The depth of Gods love for you!
•        Who do I love more, Him or me?
•        When confronted with the need to die to myself, ask – who do I love more, me  or God?
•        Meet her felt need
•        Validate another’s feelings.
•        Just listen. Her feelings are more important than the situation.
•        What a woman is feeling is as important or more so than the incident itself.
•        Healing truth is always something about the character of God
•        Release your right to judge.
•        Guide them back to Jesus…
•        Believe for her
•        Forgive self to fully be within God’s love.
•        Die daily to God
•       Focus on God not self.
•        God’s wisdom
•        You are God’s channel for healing and encouragement.
•        Know the Shepherd!
•        To have a resurrection, you have to have a death!
•        Not letting our emotions get in the way of living for God
•        Get out of the way!
•        Listen and validate with a loving heart.
•        Let God lead you.
•        Don’t get fixated on what we have lost but realize what we still have and what we’ll never lose.
•        Help her become independent of me and become dependent on God.
•        Healing is a process, keep eyes on God. It will surprise you!
•        Listen- let the story flow. Discern needs.
•        Ability to face + recognize my problems and God’s solutions.
•        There is enough grace for whatever!
•        When there is a lot of anger, it is often rooted in fear.
•        Great anger reveals great fear.
•        Prayer hands your heart to another.
•        Take her to Jesus
•        You can’t give what you don’t have. Restore self. Set limits. Take care of yourself. 
•      Thank Him for one costly thing every day.
•        Give comfort to those who are hurting
•        Don’t short change the process. Allow God to work in her life completely.
•        Jesus is in control. Step back and let Him lead.
•        Frustration with life’s turmoil. Out of my control. Die to self so that God can work through this.
•       He’s in the driver seat!
•        Pray regularly for those in spiritual leadership. Ask others to pray for you.
•        Believe for her. God is enough for you today.
•        Ask open questions
•        Rest.
•        Be a listener- don’t interject own solutions. Turn to God for solutions, He is the solution.
•        Personalize Eph 1 with your own name in the phrases.
•        Blessings of our needs met today
•        Get in the truth.
•        You offer sacrifices of thanksgiving with your will and not with your feelings
•        The person who has offended/sinned against me does not have the power to grant me resolution/freedom. Only God can free me from the hurts I have allowed to overwhelm and imprison me.
•        Do it with your will, not with your emotions (feelings)
•        Focus on who God is
•        If you don’t have a history with God, you can walk with mine until you build one of your own.
•      My need to give up my right to understand.
•        Someone having an unusually happy outburst can also be a sign of a problem.
•        Seek to live without masks.
•        Cry with your friend if you feel like it! Your emotion might be what she needs
•        Give up our rights to control the end result.
•        “I wonder what God is doing?” This changes the focus of her heart.
•        Don’t let the pain define who they are
•        Pray for healing
•        “Lance the boil” – Get the bad stuff out! Let God in to heal!
•        Wait on the Lord
•        To be more available for others
•        Dependent – not codependent. Invite the person to share by asking open questions.
•        Listen like one being taught.
•        Always ask God for guidance
•        Ask Him to direct my Heart.
•        Get so close to God/Jesus that his fragrance rubs off + I can be his fragrance.
•        I have all grace for all things at all times.
•        Live in forgiveness.
•        Do it with your will and your emotions will catch up.
•        List if its reasonable or unreasonable. Pray & Plan!
•        Focus on the grace and favor of Today while waiting for your prayers to be answered.
•        The end product isn’t the focus
•        You can't give what you don’t have.
•        Forgiveness is not reconciliation.
•        Help her make the biggest impact in the least amount of time, but be careful not to shortchange the process.
•        Jesus calmed the storm BEFORE addressing the lack of faith.
•        Forgiveness does not equal trust.
•        Personal soul care is essential.
•        It is okay to just listen and be the fragrance of God!
•        To be effective and not burn out, we must take time to restore our own spirit. We can’t give what we don’t have.
•        We need to understand the depths of God’s love. (Eph 1+3)
•        Seek the Lord’s wisdom and word everyday. Be willing to be used by God.
•        Direct people to a professional if needed, but continue to meet with them to help them process what they get from those sessions.
•        Grace at all times, in all things.
•        It starts with knowing Christ and His word personally.
•        Find something difficult to thank Him for.
•        Draw her out, be empathetic.
•        We are, to God, the aroma of Christ
•        Seek to give authentically.
•        The bottom line of most problems is unforgiveness and a wounded spirit.
•        Nothing touches us that doesn’t go through God’s filter.
•        Jesus is a gentleman.
•        A woman in crisis is always in a crisis of faith.
•        When we hold bitterness and unforgiveness in our hearts, there is no room for Him.
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